I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
