I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
