sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
