New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Pants are for mortals
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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