Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
