okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
