I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
