he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
