you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
