Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There r osticjed everywhere
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm just crazy horny about you
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
