I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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