he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize