I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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