I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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