I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
