You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
