just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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