my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I would fuck him just for his dog
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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