I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
