he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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