So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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