just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
