My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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