i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
