Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
