btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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