OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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