i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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