Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
