In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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