That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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