I cannot find my penis.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
