You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
