she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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