My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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