How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
