Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
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I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.