someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
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Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.