I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake