ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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