That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
