She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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