just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
