just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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