Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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