i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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