We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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