Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
