I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
