I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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