How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
