apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
