Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize