But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
