well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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