I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
