I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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