So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
