i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
