we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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