Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
