there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Pooping to opera.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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