So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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