i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
