we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
